eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
