Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
