I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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