it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
