"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
