i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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