She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
