My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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