TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
