If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
