Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
