Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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