even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize