you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
