Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
