dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
