dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
