dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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