i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
