I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
