you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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