Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
