Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
