So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
