we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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