i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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