she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
