Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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