One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
