You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
