Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
