Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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