You made me cry and you don't even care
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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