I wish I only lived at night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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