New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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