I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
