My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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