I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
