Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
