Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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