"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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