Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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