Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
