Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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