loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
