You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I'm really busy with my period
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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