Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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