Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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