Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
