I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
