The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
