we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
