i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
