And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
