Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
