so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
