fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
