Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
