Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
